How to stop skipping couples and start studying. How to skip work without unpleasant consequences? The reason for the absence - what to say

Hello reader! I decided to write my next article specifically for teachers so that they understand why students do not go to classes? Indeed, such a problem exists, both among contractors and state employees, and some classrooms in pairs are completely empty.

What are the reasons for such omissions, and how the teacher reacts to them, let's try to figure it out together. The most important thing to understand is the student's motivation, otherwise it will hardly be possible to instill in him a sense of diligence, punctuality and responsibility. So let's talk together.

Reasons students skip couples

Many teachers do not want to know why a student misses classes, and when he does not appear, they not only begin to resent loudly in the presence of the entire group or stream, but also threaten. As a rule, these are formidable promises not to give up the upcoming session, so you won’t hear anything original at such moments.

However, this is an incorrect and non-pedagogical approach to the problem, since the showdown should proceed in a purely individual manner, and before shouting, one should understand the reasons, which, by the way, can be valid or disrespectful.

1. Family circumstances. Sometimes in the life of a student there are things that can be settled only during the educational process. Such “unexpected circumstances” can affect all areas of life, while requiring an immediate response.

Of course, in such stalemate moments it is best to find a teacher and take time off, but it often happens that every minute counts.

2. Problems on the personal front. Sometimes students skip couples due to emotional trauma, for example, after breaking up with a lover. At such moments, I don’t feel like studying, eating and breathing.

Even the most diligent and responsible student can deliberately "score" on study and spend meaningless days in mental anguish. Here, little depends on the teacher, but the help of friends and fellow students will certainly come in handy and will be needed.

3. part time job. Some senior students manage to earn extra money during the educational process. Such an increase in the scholarship, of course, does not hurt, but it can significantly spoil relations with principled teachers who do not agree with the systematic skipping of students of their classes, especially lectures.

It is best to compromise here, otherwise there may not be a scholarship for the next semester.

4. Personal irresponsibility. In this case, we are talking about student laxity and systematic absenteeism without a good reason. Teachers do not like malicious violators of the order on their classes, therefore, in this case, without attending a university, you can not only “fly through” with a scholarship, but also easily end up on the verge of being expelled from the university.

So here the whole point is not in the teacher, but in the student, who must understand why he entered the university - to study or to walk. The last motivation failed.

5. Antipathy for the teacher. There are also students who, for one reason or another, do not perceive the teacher, and the answers in a pair turn into bickering and conflicts.

This situation is unpleasant for both the student and the teacher, so the former prefers to ignore the couples. He can do this with malicious motives in order to create trouble for the teacher at the department, but such cases in pedagogical practice are rather isolated.

Perhaps these are the most common reasons that prevent normal study and regular attendance at the university. It is desirable to eliminate them, otherwise the student's performance will be noticeably reduced, and promising and bright plans for life are distant.

What should a student do?

If a student skips couples, then the first thing he should understand is that such an attitude to learning will not end in anything good. He must adjust himself, and perceive the unloved teacher according to the principle: “Everything will pass, this will pass too!”

You just need to be patient, try to understand the essence of the subject and, if possible, please the unloved teacher. And how he will do it, intuition will tell. It is pointless to give any advice in this matter, since all teachers are different and each requires a different approach.

In cases where normal study is hindered by work, it is best to talk with the teacher about free attendance. It will be difficult to convince him, but in principle it is real (I know from my own experience); and most importantly - then with their knowledge, grades and overall performance, make it clear that the work did not affect their interest in studies and a particular subject.

Here I will tell my example: in order to achieve free attendance in the 5th year, I begged individual teachers almost every week. They mistrustfully made concessions to me, but with the requirement of the presence of a complete outline.

It was not easy, and it was possible to rewrite the “scribbles of fellow students” only on sleepless nights. But there were never any complaints, and my academic performance and scholarship did not suffer in any way.

In cases where absenteeism is caused by a love drama, it is very difficult to pull yourself together and tune in to study. And it will not be easy to break out of depression and painful memories on your own.

However, here friends and sports should come to the rescue, which will help to switch thoughts and set up the sufferer for further study. From myself I can add: no relationship is worth higher education, so you should not give up a promising future for the sake of imperfect and doomed relationships.

In the event of family circumstances about your absenteeism, it is imperative to warn the teacher so that he does not learn such important information from third parties. In a personal conversation, you can explain everything and, as it were, take time off, and not put the teacher in front of the fact of his absence from his subject. It is also desirable to remind about illnesses, otherwise you can mistakenly give the impression of a lax truant who ignores knowledge.

What should a teacher do?

Since I am dedicating this article more to teachers, it is precisely about their behavior that I would like to talk in more detail. Students are different, but a teacher is not just a teacher and mentor, but, above all, subtle psychologist.

That is why the issue of absenteeism must be taken with particular care, so that later among the students you do not get a bad reputation or some kind of malicious nickname.

So, your student is not in classes? First of all, you should write out his last name and go to the dean's office to find out if he is sick and if he has valid family circumstances.

If the reasons for the absence from the couples are really good, then it is best to temporarily postpone a serious conversation. But, if teachers report that the truant attends other lectures, it's time to think.

Of course, you should not enter into his position, since all students know why they decided to study at a university. But again, the circumstances are different, but for a start it is recommended to convey “ardent greetings” to him through the headman. After that, you can wait for a groove - 2 - 3 pairs, and, if the situation does not change, proceed to more radical actions.

You can meet and stop him at a break, but it is also recommended to visit the couple where he is definitely present. In this case, you can’t do without a serious conversation and a warning, but still try to understand the arguments. If the reasons are disrespectful, and you are facing the most ordinary lazybones, then threatening problems at the session will not hurt.

When such persuasion again proves useless, make one last attempt, which may make him think. If not, then you can no longer worry about his fate, but ask in full at the exam.

No, of course, I cannot teach and give recommendations to honored and qualified specialists, but I am simply sure that the method of screaming and intimidation does not work initially. No matter how, students are also people, with their own reasons and circumstances, which can sometimes be understood by an adult, even a teacher.

On the other hand, the teacher should not run after students and persuade them to attend couples, but from a purely human point of view, it will not be superfluous to take an interest in their academic performance.

How to officially skip couples?

So that later there are no problems with teachers for systematic absenteeism on their pairs, you can formalize a free visit or transfer to a correspondence course.

The first option is ideal, since the student does not lose the scholarship, saves the duration of study and skillfully combines two useful things at the same time. The second option is more radical, since distance learning lasts a year longer (5.5 or 6 years), is carried out exclusively on a contract basis and has a number of its own nuances. So it's best to use the first option.

If absenteeism is reasoned, includes a certain period of time, does not require regularity, then you can write an official paper in the dean's office and sign it with the dean. But in this case, it is imperative to promise that all the "tails" will be pulled up in a timely manner, and there will be no problems at the session.

Conclusion: From now on, questions why students do not go to couples should not arise either from students or from their teachers.

I hope that all the tips offered by the site will be informative and useful, and the attitude of the student - lazybones to study will change as well as the attitude of teachers towards some of their negligent students.

Now you know, why students don't go to class.

Sincerely, the site team website

P.S. Or maybe the students are doing the right thing by not going to some couples? Watch the video of one of the typical days of an American student :).

Question to the psychologist:

Good afternoon. My name is Julia, I am 19 years old, I am a 1st year student at the university. Lately, I have been acutely aware that something is not right with me and I need help. To understand the whole situation, please read to the end.

It all started at the end of January. After the New Year, I felt that I was full of energy, that I was ready to plunge into my studies, start playing sports (I even bought myself an annual subscription to a fitness center), learn some new hobby, in other words, my life more or less satisfied me and I didn't experience any problems. Everything changed when the university was closed for quarantine, and an unscheduled 2-week vacation awaited everyone, which, it seemed to me then, was very good news. In fact, everything turned out to be wrong.

These more than two (quarantine was extended for a few more days) weeks completely unsettled me. I clearly remember the day when I had to go to the university after the rest: I just sat on the bed in the morning and cried, I understood that not only did I not want to study, I was AFRAID to go to it. But still, that morning, I forced myself to get up and go to the university. Every day, couples and just going out became an increasingly depressing and even scary thing for me, and I can’t say that I just really wanted to sleep or I was too lazy. It was something else, and I could not fully understand what was happening and why my attitude to study and life in general had changed so dramatically. Against the background of all this, I began to have very serious health problems, which completely ruined my life. Almost every day I experienced wild pains in my stomach, sometimes I felt sick. Because of the pain, my stomach often rumbled loudly, and therefore being in crowded but quiet places (audience, dining room, cinema, theater, etc.) was simply unbearable. Every time, being among a large crowd of people, I began to get terribly nervous, in pairs, it seemed that I almost fainted. This went on for about a couple of weeks, and by the end of February I started skipping couples.

The days passed unbearably. I was very worried because of the whole situation, I cried every, every day. I could cry at any moment, anywhere. But it’s rather strange that there were rare moments when my mood just went off scale, I could chatter, laugh, even dance incessantly. Everyone asked why I was so "sausage", and I myself did not understand what was the matter, because a couple of hours ago I had a tantrum. But this did not last long, and after a couple of hours I returned to my usual state. I had such “attacks of activity” about once a week, maybe less often.

Getting out of my apartment (and even my room) was a real feat for me). I abandoned the university swimming section (which I had simply adored before), fortunately, I had a certificate from the gym (which, by the way, I didn’t attend either - I was terribly afraid). A lot of various events, free trainings, courses were held at the university, many interesting films were shown in the cinema, but I didn’t want ANYTHING, I wanted to come home and go to bed. By the way, about what saved me. I found comfort and at least some joy in life in 4 things: sleep, music, food .... and alcohol. I listened to music always and everywhere, it was hardly possible to see me without headphones: I turned on some track and just forgot about everything, imagined a wonderful life in which everything is fine. My imaginary world, thanks to music, has replaced reality for me. Once the phone ran out of battery, and I woke up on some street, not remembering its name at all, and not at all remembering how I got here, i.e. went on completely oblivious. With food, things were similar: I just went to the store and spent all the money I had on all sorts of yummy things, then I came home, locked myself in a room and gorged myself. From this health problems became even more, there was a suspicion of gastritis. The stomach began to hurt and rumble even more, which caused even more frequent absences from school. In short, a vicious circle. Alcohol is a separate issue altogether. Since it all started, I became truly cheerful only in moments of alcoholic intoxication: every weekend my girlfriend and I went to a club where we got drunk to the bone, met all sorts of men, went to them ... When the next week came, more a million heavy thoughts about what I'm doing.

I gave up the couple completely. If in February and March I missed them occasionally, a couple of times a week, one or two lectures, now I can not appear at the university for weeks, even skipping seminars. My group, probably, has already radically changed its attitude towards me, writing it down in the category of “typical loafers-truants”. But I'm not like that, and I know it. Before that, I just loved to study. I know that I am a rather goal-oriented person, that I have abilities, yes, maybe not super-fantastic, but those that helped me enter a prestigious university on a budget and even receive an increased scholarship. In the first half of the year, I did not miss a single lesson, I went to school with pleasure. Despite the fact that I am an introvert in life, I still somehow found a common language with people, communicated. I often met my girlfriends, went somewhere, now I don’t really want to contact even with them (unless, as I wrote above, go to a club to get drunk). I began to love being alone. Before, I also liked to walk, to go somewhere alone, but recently I caught myself thinking that I want to live alone on the planet.

Because of all this, I ruined relationships with everyone: with teachers, classmates, friends, and of course, parents. I tried to talk about my problems with my mom and dad, but they start yelling that I just don’t want to study. They do not believe and will never believe that I really feel bad, that I need help. In their opinion, I wind everything up. I used to think so too, but now I'm starting to see the opposite.

At the moment, my life has not changed, and even worse. Everything I wrote about continues and I can't help myself. Every morning, with regular screams, my mother wakes me up to study, I get up with a face like a zombie, get ready and just go / go wherever my eyes look: anywhere, but not to study. During these months, I probably visited every street in the city and rode almost every bus route. After the steam time is over, I head home, buying another ton of food along the way, I come, eat everything and go to bed safely. There can be no talk of any homework, I'm even scared to open it. Weekends are still held in entertainment establishments that make me feel happy for a while, but I understand that this is an imaginary happiness, a deception.

As for the university, while I still find the strength (both physical and moral) and the courage to come there at least for important classes and checkpoints, but soon it seems that I will stop going to them, because of which I will lose my scholarship or quit altogether.

I do not know what to do. I'm really scared. The whole situation torments me to the core, but I can’t help myself. Every day it gets worse and worse. Lately I've been reading about something similar on the Internet, and all the symptoms point to a mental personality disorder. Previously, I did not believe that such diseases exist, I was convinced that it was all simulated, exaggerated, now I understand that everything is not just like that ... I told about the whole situation now for the first time, I wrote everything as it is. I just don't know who to turn to because I don't think they'll understand me. I am afraid to turn to a psychotherapist, because I can’t even imagine how he can help me. But I don’t want to leave everything idle either ... In general, I am in despair. What to do? How to change your attitude towards life? Is it worth contacting a qualified specialist?

I apologize for such a huge text, but these are all my emotions and feelings, I tried to describe the situation in as much detail as possible. Thank you in advance.

The psychologist Sologubova Ekaterina Alexandrovna answers the question.

Hello Julia! Thank you for your feedback! You ask if you need the help of a psychologist. Yes, definitely, it is necessary, because as I read your letter, I had a lot of questions, the answers to which I would not like to think out for you, and without them a reliable analysis of the situation is impossible.

So, for example, question number one is the choice of this university, which you SUDDENLY did not want to go to anymore, it was initiated by whom - you or your parents (this is important when analyzing your case). After all, we, adults, cannot help but understand that nothing happens just like that, and such a block that subconsciously arose in you (and even in such a short period of time) has a clear basis. Perhaps, if the choice of a university is the initiative of your parents, and you wanted something completely different for yourself, this isolation can be a certain form of protest. And, if this is true, then it might make sense to think about changing universities, academic leave, looking for a job, etc.

Question number two - how did your relationship with your classmates develop before the New Year? Was there something in them that made you hide in your world, not see or hear anyone around.

Question number three: when did you first feel that you were afraid to go to college? Mentally, no matter how difficult it is, go back to that day and think - what exactly scared you then - a meeting with the guys, with teachers, or in general the very fact of leaving the house (a trip to the subway, public transport)? What exactly? Because it wasn't a problem before...

And there are a lot of questions: is there anyone among your environment who supports you, to whom you can come with your tears, experiences, to whom you can open up and trust? If there is such a person, then it is very cool, he is your resource.

In addition to eating, sleeping and drinking, do you have any positive activities that bring positive emotions? For example, when you wander around the city, are there places that you want to return to, that are nice to visit? They can also be resource for you, you can relax in them, get a boost of energy, which is so lacking.

The position of your parents also raises the question - is it generally accepted in your family to discuss each other's feelings and experiences? I understand that they send you and the Institute every day… explaining to her what you are experiencing and feeling, without tantrums and mutual accusations.

Try to answer all these questions, say the answers out loud - and perhaps this will help clarify something for you. But, I repeat once again, of course it is better to do this not alone, but accompanied by an experienced psychologist.

In addition to contacting a psychologist, I think that it would not be superfluous to conduct an examination, for example, with a gastroenterologist. You can do an ultrasound of the thyroid gland - sudden mood swings can be associated with a lack of iodine in the body. In order to receive these and other recommendations, you must first contact a therapist.

It is probably banal in such a situation to say that you, Yulia, have a whole life ahead of you and close yourself into a shell from it is not an option, because we are all social beings and a deep understanding, knowledge of oneself is possible only through communication with other such different and interesting people …

As for the accusations that you address yourself, this is a road to nowhere. Try not to do those things for which you reproach yourself so much - do not go against your understanding of what is right for you and what has a place in your life.

I really want to support you and the mere fact that you wrote this letter indicates that you are already on the path of positive changes in your life. Just don't stop... Have you talked about being ready, in the past, to go in for sports, to master a new hobby - or maybe now to return to this? Perhaps it makes sense to start swimming again, you can find a pool near your home (not necessarily at the university), etc.

Julia, I wish you a speedy end to such a difficult period in your life. Sincerely, psychologist Ekaterina Sologubova.

4.4285714285714 Rating 4.43 (7 Votes)

Question to the psychologist:

Hello! My name is Anastasia, I am 18 years old. This year I moved from my city to St. Petersburg to enter a university. She entered a technical university at the Faculty of Hydrology. In the first weeks, everything went well, I went to couples, studied, had time to walk around the city. Gradually, I started skipping classes. First one lesson, then two, then a day. In November, I came to the institute only a few times. This month I came to find out what my English debts are. There are so many gaps that I can't even count them. There should be tests next week, but my head is empty, only scraps from the first classes. I'm afraid to go to teachers about debts, I think they will scold me (although I deserve it). I live in a hostel, my neighbors are first-year students of the same university, everything is fine with them. I'm considering several options for which I don't go to classes. Perhaps this is due to the fact that I was disappointed with the choice of the university. To be honest, I don't even know where I should work in the future. There is knowledge of English, maybe something from biology. I know that I am not the only one who made such a mistake that many people go through this, but this does not give me an answer. I told my mother about this, and she offered to pass the winter session and move to another faculty. I don’t tell my mother about absenteeism, because I’m afraid of her reaction, or I just don’t want to upset her. Mom lives in another city and learns about her studies only from me. The second reason is the lack of rest. We did not have time to really relax in the summer, filling out documents and sending them to different universities. But I would not consider this point. The next reason is I call it the "good girl riot". When you study for 11 years in a row, without missing a lesson without a good reason, you study, being afraid to get a three, and when you get a three, you get it yourself - all this leaves some kind of imprint. Perhaps, far from home, I feel free from obligations, because here it is, the goal is to act, it has been achieved and I should breathe freely and give up on prohibitions, which I do. Or maybe I'm just lazy to such an extent that I can only learn from under duress? Suddenly in me there is no innate gift to learn, is it not given? I envy a little people who go to university with pleasure, who are not afraid of difficulties. I will be very grateful if someone answers my question.

The psychologist Mainali Larisa Valerievna answers the question.

Hello Anastasia. You have analyzed your situation well and the possible reasons why you missed classes. Yes, unfortunately, if there is no interest and emotional involvement, then this does not bring satisfaction.

I would be interested to know what you do and what do you do when you are not attending classes? What is the predominant need? How do you feel when you make a choice - skip or go to lectures?

The fact that you escaped from parental care and control, including the grades you get at school, of course, can also be a reason for absenteeism, like many others. But you definitely have an "innate gift for learning", otherwise you would not be able to finish school and go to college.

Of great importance is the criteria for choosing a university? Was it your desire, or was it the most important thing to do somewhere? You can spend years on training, having unlearned, under duress, because it is necessary, or parents want it.

It is very good that my mother supports me in the transition to another faculty. Take your time with the choice. Analyze what would be of interest to you? What talents and abilities did you notice in yourself? What activity is of interest? What do you like - to communicate with people, count, write, etc.? Read what professions exist, take career guidance tests, and try to choose a few, realistically assessing your capabilities and abilities.